So yea, those were some of the poems that i have written throughout the year. They go in order, starting with "Dreams of Missing" which was written in January after a specific Ski Race in which I saw someone I hadnt seen in a while. They progress, many of them are repetative, but i like them, they can get a little sappy and preachy, but its what i was fealing at the time...these are select poems, my entire library would be a very very long entry...

So its the day after Halloween and yea im a lil down, and im not sure why. I have come to the conclusion that emotions play a very large part in our lives, and we cant hide from them, we need to face them. I told Adri a lot yesturday, about how i had felt...I didnt touch as much on how im fealing now, but i think she knows how i am...We talked a lot about the past, and somewhat about the future as well. I didnt hold anything back, i told her how she had hurt me in the past, and honestly, i felt bad a first but i think it was something that needed to be said. We also talked about love and the definition...or lack there of. I know I am in love and sadly i cant change that, as much as i wish i could, i feel that if i wasnt so in love, this wouldnt hurt as much. But we talked a lot about how i think we both need...no want...eachother in our lives, i told her i didnt care what she was, as long as shes still in my life...and i honestly feel that way. I've told her many a times, all i want is for her to be happy...if that means that shes not with me...i guess ill have to deal, i cant be selfish, all i want is her happieness, granted id be happier if she was with me, but thats not for me to decide...well thats what we've talked about...

So last night was insane...Halloween in Salem, dear lord...millions of people...so i walked around town with abby and bri...good times, abby is a family friend...chads cousin, and Bri is a friend of ours, one i had a thing for at the begining of the year...yea, i'll admit it. Ive come to a new realization...Like my FAVORITE musical states...No Day But Today...and i'm trying to do that. Im not going to worry about shit anymore. Im going to tell people how i feel, its the only way to stay honest with yourself. Its something that if you can truly do works...at least thats how i feel right now, we'll see. So after walking around downtown we came back to the dorms, all in all Halloween was an awesome time... I guess it started out friday with Gary and Jenn coming up from boston...then Adri came down for Saturday night, and we spent all saturday night and all day sunday together...by the way, i REALLY wish she didnt have MONO...Then monday was all hell...classes cancelled, and what not...awesome holiday...So ive started working on Christmas Gifts already...i know but Halloween's over, im allowed to move on...and my ideas are awesome this year...not going to lie, im VERY proud of myself...Well i think thats all for now, i dont think theres much else to say...IM VERY CONFUSED ABOUT MANY THINGS...but hey, thats life i guess...and i like how i can pretend im ok...